by Bob Thompson

"Toto... I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore..."

-Dorothy, The Wizard of Oz

Yes, Dorothy, you guessed it. You're not in Kansas anymore; you're in Iowa City, the arrest capital of Iowa, if not the entire Midwest. We have RULES here. And you need to understand them, unless you look good in an orange jumpsuit. You see, Dorothy, the people who rule this town have high expectations, behaviorally speaking. This is reflected in our arrest rates for minor offenses. So, screw up and you will end up in jail, Dorothy. Just pay your rent on time, buy lots of stuff, and remain very, very quiet, and no one gets hurt.

My purpose here is to inform the Iowa City newbie as to how to avoid arrest. However, I will first supply a little background information, as it always helps to understand why things are the way they are.

The Background: What the hell you're getting into here

Iowa City's Powers That Be have declared war on what they consider to be deviate social behavior. Loosely translated, this means you. These folks have lots of money and power, and are highly organized in all the right ways. You are totally unorganized, and have no money or power. As of this writing, that means that you are basically screwed.

the major players in the war on you: the Policytweakers

the "Stepping Up Project"

This little cabal is comprised of administrators and other big shots from the University, elected and appointed officials from local and state government, law enforcement, and prominent people from the private sector, banded together around some impressive grant money, and dedicated to obliterating "binge drinking" from the face of the earth. The first evidence of their influence on public policy dates from 1997, an old press release from when Stepping Up first formed. In that document, they actually named their charter members. You won't find many names on their website. This might be because they really don't want people to know how much influence they have on local policy; their degree of influence is obvious from the names on the original list, particularly since every major player in local law enforcement is on it. It's not hard to correlate this with the huge spike in arrest rates for alcohol related offenses the Uniform Crime Report shows for Iowa City immediately after that date; the County's data on alcohol related bookings shows that huge spike in more digestible form.

In the past, much media attention on this group has focused on their "alcohol-free activities," which, if adequately funded, supposedly would prove so much more deeply soul-satisfying than the bar scene that it would lead to health, happiness, and good, clean livin' for everyone. Don't believe a word of that crap. It was never the goal; it was just a red herring. Stepping Up is the local chapter of the "A Matter of Degree" program, the dark spawn of the AMA, funded by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, which uses the quack "science" of Dr. Henry Wechsler of Harvard to justify its utterly futile existence. The program's objective was nothing more than a grand experiment in social engineering, a test of the "Environmental Management Model," which in this context amounted to drawing in key players in local and state government to coordinate a massive policy and enforcement crackdown on bars and college students, to see if fear would make you drink less. That's right, you are merely lab rats, insofar as these people are concerned. It was always their major focus to pressure the government in the back rooms of City Hall to arrest as many of you as possible, to see if it would get you to stop partying. Didn't work. Yet the UI has refused to acknowledge this dismal failure, and continues to fund Stepping Up. Maybe that's because so many top UI administrators were behind the whole thing; if I were a student, I would feel immensely betrayed. If you feel betrayed enough, I can tell you whose office door to puke on.

For more information and documentation on these crusaders, see the report I wrote when I finally figured it all out, after years of wondering what the hell was going on around here, and being spoonfed pure B.S. from the Iowa City Press-Citizen, which was Stepping Up's main propaganda engine. I also wrote a guest opinion for the DI which divulged the same revelation; Stepping Up quickly responded with a letter about an alleged inaccuracy in a DI staff editorial pertaining to its nefarious shenanigans at about about the same time, and they didn't challenge me at all on this one; I assume this amounts to tacit approval of the facts contained therein. I took great pains to be completely accurate.

a subversive, radical organization?

As I understand it, the Neo-Prohibitionist movement can be loosely defined as a stealth approach to Prohibitionism: realizing the failures of Prohibition, the new movement seeks not to outlaw alcohol outright, but to stigmatize drinkers, to move them to the margins of society, to increase the criminalization of alcohol consumption by small degrees: "a matter of degree," pretty much what's been going on here. The Robert Wood Johnson Foundation has been accused of being at the forefront of this shadowy movement, and they have spent more than a quarter of a BILLION dollars to this end. Stepping Up, of course, proclaims that they are not for prohibition; however, the AMOD program unambiguously lists "dry community" as one of its policy objectives (It also lists "Restrictions on open assembly;" Stalin would be so proud). Local crusaders don't rule out prohibition, either; take this editorial in a local paper by this guy, for instance (Please note: Though he claimed in the column that Stepping Up had secured a 3.75 MILLION grant in 2002, the actual amount they received was a mere $440,000 or so.):

"The mythology is that 'prohibition didn't work.' The facts are otherwise. Politically unpopular and repealed? Yes. But those 15 years showed enough decrease in alcohol's adverse health effects to make it a smashing public health success."

HELLO!!!! Earth to Nick!!! Earth to Nick!!! If you're going to promote an agenda this radical and unsupportable by documentation, you need to be A LOT MORE DEVIOUS! OK? Don't give away what you really want right at the git-go, because it's NUTS. Do like the rest of your cohorts, and "subvert the dominant paradigm", or whatever the old hippy communist bumper sticker says.

It is the opinion of this humble writer that these crusaders are invincible; in spite of the overwhelming evidence that this has accomplished nothing, except to dramatically increase revenue from underage drinking fines, the fiasco continues. Furthermore, they probably won't be happy until this is a dry county (the City, however, is pretty happy with the current fine structure, which recently doubled underage drinking fines). Therefore, one must adopt the tactics used by tiny mammals in the Jurassic era when confronted by huge reptilian creatures: run and hide, or die. However, we humans have more options available to us in the evolutionary scheme of things as they apply to social problems. You also have the option of becoming like them. Would you prefer to conform, run and hide, or perish? The choice is yours. Lucky you. So much for evolution.

the Neighborhood Council

The Neighborhood Council was formed after the City decided it needed a way to control all the grassroots neighborhood associations that started forming: they hired a coordinator of the various 'hood groups, gave them a little grant money to fight over, and otherwise gave them various incentives to compete and/or cooperate with each other. Neighborhood Associations can have a very positive influence, or they can be little more than a handful of busybodies who want to tell others what they ought to be doing with their own homes. You guess which kind we have here. Under the watchful eye of Iowa City administrators, this confluence of busybodies has begun to be a serious pain in the butt for everyone; particularly since their spinoff group, the Neighborhood Housing Relations Task Force, came up with a whole bunch of new ways to regulate their neighbors at considerable public expense. Though I can't prove that Stepping Up was involved, their fingerprints are all over this little scheme.

NHRTF's recommendations are, I believe, still slowly being reviewed and implemented by the City Council. If you want to do something before it's too late (oh, sorry, it's too late), it's up to you to take the time to find out what's up with this, and make some noise; check the City Council's minutes and agendas regularly to find out what is coming at you. The City seems to be keeping this stuff low-key, in order to minimize opposition. And remember, there really isn't any significant opposition; most of us have lives, while some people have all the time in the world to think of ways the government can interfere with issues that neighbors used to work out amongst themselves. Way back when we used to talk to each other, and stuff.

For her outstanding work in promoting neighborhood fascism, NHRTF chair Hillary Sale got a big "WE LOVE YOU" from the Iowa City Press-Citizen. Some people have different opinions. I will take the (currently legal) liberty of giving you mine, which was divulged to an undisclosed party shortly after I interacted with Ms. Sale at a public meeting: "To be fair, Ms. Sale was one of the more reasonable voices on the task force, if there were any. At their forum, I found her to be almost lifelike, though her monotone voice and robotic demeanor made me suspect that she was some kind of android. Has anyone over there at the law school checked her pulse recently? Then again, maybe she reverted to a robotic demeanor because of the overwhelming public opposition to the proposals presented by the 'Force.' It seemed more like a roast than a forum, and the Task Force pretty much remained motionless for two hours, frozen in place like an oil painting, perhaps entitled 'What the #### were we thinking?'"

Yes, I realize that this is harsh and unfair, a brutal attack on the person rather than the issue. Don't care. I'm sure she's probably a very nice lady under most circumstances. Anyone who is a major part of a movement to bring such an array of idiotic punitive forces to bear on their neighbors ought to figure they're going to take a little heat for it. Bland civility just doesn't work for me when I'm angry.

Since they were the subject of the biggest protest in recent Iowa City history, NHRTF, and particularly my beloved Hillary, recommended that their new neighborhood watchdog, the Neighborhood Relations Council, hold meetings closed to the public. Amazingly, the City Council approved this recommendation. City Attorney Dilkes' opinion that closed meetings do not violate Iowa's open meetings law seems rather questionable, although she apparently learned about this little loophole from the State Attorney General (she always goes running to him when she needs advice on how to tweak the law to screw us over).Thus, we can no longer find out what these clowns are trying to do to us. I wrote a letter to the City Council expressing my feelings on this matter.

prominent citizens in the private sector

Whether they lobby the City via the Chamber of Commerce, the Downtown Association, other influential organizations, or on their own, it often seems as if important people have a pathological need to control others. Of course, it's easy to get a distorted view of human realities when you're important. You go to meetings with other important people all day, and your interactions with unimportant people largely consist of facile persuasion, or simply whacking them upside the head to control them. Granted, it would be nice if students didn't barf on the sidewalks, set couches on fire, and tip over dumpsters; but so far, no cure has been found for being young and stupid. Don't bother trying to tell these folks. They don't need any advice on how to rule over you, and they will regulate us all to death in order to create their utopian vision for Iowa City. You may say whatever you like, but you won't be taken seriously unless you're one of the Important People, or you show up at public meetings in scary numbers.

running and hiding from the next level: law enforcement

avoiding confrontation with the law

The best way to stay out of jail is to avoid breaking the law. This is harder than you might expect. Much of Iowa City's law enforcement efforts focus on downtown and the immediate outlying areas. Yup, you guessed it. The problem is with alcohol related offenses. Smart people don't even go downtown after dark. If you can't resist, there are some things you need to know.

getting to and from your destination

Getting to your destination usually isn't a problem. Most people are arrested at the bars or on their way home from the bars. Our panel of scientific geniuses has carefully studied the various modes of transport, and has provided the following recommendations:


Driving is not recommended. Iowa City has the highest rate of OWI arrests in the state. Even if you have a designated driver you're not safe, as police have been known to check out the passengers of a vehicle if the driver is sober. Think you're safe if you've been drinking moderately? Think again. If you blow a .04 or below, you'll likely be let go. If you blow something higher, but still under the limit of .08, your chances of arrest increase significantly. Word on the street has it that IC cops feel they can arrest for anything over .05. This is largely because County Attorney Pat White will pursue charges against anyone who blows pretty far under the limit, because his dad was an alcoholic, or something. Back when the limit was .1, the lowest BAC he went to trial on was .077, and the lowest he got a conviction for was .082. There's no reason to believe that things have gotten looser, after the law got tougher.

If the cop's breathalyzer shows that you're under the limit, you may well be taken in, sat down for half an hour, and then given the test again, on the off chance that your BAC will rise with time. As you can see, this is not a pretty picture. You're better off not drinking and driving, even in moderate amounts.

If you somehow find yourself driving after drinking a few beers anyway, you must drive extremely well. All lights and other equipment must be in perfect working order. Drive between 0 and 2 mph over the speed limit, no more, no less. You must drive without any weaving whatsoever. Keep it perfectly in the middle of the lane. Always come to a complete stop at traffic signals and stop signs. Always use your turn signals well ahead of a turn, even if no one's in sight. Always signal for a lane change, and never change lanes in an intersection. Get one of those sweet, syrupy coffee drinks from a convenience store; it'll help mask your breath if an officer sticks his face in your face. Survey your surroundings intensely in all directions at all times. This is as much for safety as for avoiding arrest; there are a lot of drunks driving around here late at night. Assume that everyone driving at night is totally shitfaced; they probably are. Your chances of attracting police scrutiny dramatically increase if you're driving a car that has a powerful engine, or one that makes you look poor. Get a haircut; cops hate long hair. it also helps if you're not black or Hispanic, as the IC arrest rate for blacks (per capita) is twice that for whites (I don't remember the rate for Hispanics, but it's higher too). Are you frightened yet? Good. Don't drink and drive.


Walking is not recommended, unless you can walk without the slightest indication that you've been drinking. Anytime you appear in public, you're subject to intense scrutiny by police. Iowa's public intox statute makes it possible to be arrested for intoxication even if you're not intoxicated. If an officer thinks you're acting like you might have been drinking, you can be arrested (yes, this actually happens, it's called simulated intoxication, or something). Police say they don't arrest anyone for public intox unless they have drawn "negative attention to themselves." How should one conduct oneself in order to avoid that dreaded "negative attention"? It helps if you picture yourself at a Catholic funeral, and behave accordingly. To achieve the correct Iowa City Good Citizen Posture, it is necessary to tighten the anus as much as possible. The Neighborhood Council has recommended a minimum Anal Tightness Factor (ATF) of 85 lbs./sq. in. Individuals with low ATFs do not fit in with polite society in Iowa City, and are generally regarded as undesirable troublemakers by the Important People. Citizens serving on the Neighborhood Council, on average, have an ATF of over 150 lbs./sq. in.! The Neighborhood Council's brainchild, the Neighborhood Housing Relations Task Force, created a whole new standard for tightasses everywhere with their recommendations for controlling party noise and problem properties, which originally included party and keg permits, and a ban on couches placed outside. Some NHRTF members can pick up a Toyota taped to a plunger handle without using their hands. No shit! This is true! OK, it isn't true. I'm just blowing off steam.


Taxicabs are recommended, unless there's a chance you might be barfing.


Buses SUCK. That's why no one rides them.

Secret Tunnels

Secret tunnels are recommended. Tunnelling directly from your home to your favorite bar is not only the safest way to get there and back, it also provides you with a handy escape route in case of trouble.


Hey, don't knock it 'til you've tried it. Teleportation is recommended, but rather risky. For one thing, Quantum Theory has only recently suggested that teleportation is even possible. Contact your local extraterrestrials, Wiccans, or eccentric scientists for more information.


"Always remember this, my child: when in Iowa City, NEVER run from the police; ALWAYS run from the flying monkeys."

-ancient Iowa City proverb

Okay, so you've abandoned all good judgement and you're going downtown. How do you avoid arrest?

We've already briefly discussed how to avoid attracting "negative attention"; now we must go into more a more detailed tutorial on avoiding arrest. I would be negligent if I failed to mention (again) that the best strategy for avoiding arrest is to avoid doing anything illegal. However, having observed the Iowa City nightlife for the past 28 years, I would also be negligent if I failed to mention that the implementation of this strategy is unlikely for a significant portion of the population. In light of the current war on partying, I would also be negligent if I failed to mention that one's mere proximity to illegal activities significantly increases the risk of arrest.

bear country

When you're hiking in bear country you keep an eye out for bears, right? Well, you're in bear country. Always maintain full awareness of your surroundings. This is very important, whether you're driving, walking, or just sitting on your porch. It's just as important NOT to appear observant: you don't want to look like you're scoping for potential trouble. Take occasional nonchalant glances around, making your survey of your surroundings quick and thorough, but appearing as if they are just nuances within the context of a conversation. If you spot a police officer or a suspicious looking person, never look at him directly again, but use your peripheral vision to keep tabs on him, using the same nonchalant demeanor. Say you're sitting in a bar with some friends. See that clean-cut muscly guy sitting there by himself, watching people and not having as much fun as everyone else? Undercover cop. They're everywhere. They're wearing wires. They're spotting people for the uniformed guys to arrest. Well, maybe; or you might be getting a bit too paranoid. Observe, without appearing to do so, and behave accordingly. Maintain a covert dialogue with your surroundings, even as you maintain an open dialogue with the people you're actually with. This is a basic survival skill in the urban wilderness; develop it, and it will serve you well.

evasive maneuvers

Again, as the proverb says, NEVER run from the police. First, strive to be invisible. Second, strive to avoid being in close proximity to the police (without appearing to do so). Third, appear to be innocent. This is MUCH more difficult if you're stinking, staggering drunk. Don't get that way. Oh, and don't do drugs. The physical effects of any kind of intoxication are pretty obvious, and police are trained to look for them. If you can't avoid the temptation, at least monitor yourself, and ingest the means of your ultimate demise carefully and discreetly. Don't just indiscriminately huff, snort, smoke, shoot, or drink whatever the idiots you're hanging with advise you to ingest. Remember, they're idiots. You're playing with fire here. I've seen lots of people sustain severe longterm psychological and/or physical damage from their depraved ingestion of most of the currently available mind-altering substances. The staff here at BobThompson.org strenuously advises that you refrain from ####ing up your life during your stay in Iowa City. Seriously. It's easy to mess yourself up on drugs, and once your dosage takes you over that extremely blurry line, it might not be possible to repair yourself. Ever. You're much better off not messing with the stuff.

a word about marijuana

The ingestion of this most harmless of illegal drugs may have a profound impact on your future, owing to the high priority the Establishment has in quashing its use.

OK, I'll admit I've tried it. In fact, I smoked my whole life's share of the stuff in college here in the late 70s, when campus cops merely smiled as they strolled through the piles of beer cans and billows of pot smoke spilling out of the open dorm rooms. It ain't that way anymore. In fact, since pot is the "drug of choice" for Iowa City, they've made it their top drug enforcement priority. They will search your garbage, looking for seeds and stems. They know what it smells like, and might just hang around on your porch, unnanounced, to see if any smoke drifts out of your house. And if, God forbid, you should ever be the subject of one of their dreaded "knock and talks".......HORRORS!

OK, knock and talks aren't that big of a deal. Basically, the cops try to lie to you to gain entry into your house. Once inside, they will try to coerce you into consenting to a search; or they might just start searching without your consent, if they're evil clown cops from hell (These are easily distinguished from normal cops by their bulbous red noses and big floppy shoes. They usually come out of a fiery bottomless pit in your front yard.). The only sure way to prevent this is DON'T LET THEM IN! An unsolicited visit by the police is often not a good thing, and unfortunately, the advent of knock 'n talks made it NEVER a good thing. What this policy means for police/public relations is this: the public can no longer trust the police when they come knocking, EVER. Do NOT let them in, because with knock 'n talk, it became official policy for them to lie to anyone, for any reason; so we no longer can trust any of them, ever. If they need to talk, they can talk through a locked door. This applies whether you're guilty or not. You want these guys tossing your place? DON'T LET COPS INTO YOUR HOUSE, EVER! This isn't a negative diatribe about cops (most of them, anyway); they're just doing their job. It's a negative diatribe on the assholes who invent and legalize these ludicrous policies.

So, hopefully you now see that however cool some might think being a stoner is, it significantly increases your chances of sleeping on a mat in a holding cell where the average space per person is about 2 sq. ft. So don't smoke pot, unless your crappy apartment is set up to offgas exhalations from a 200 foot high smokestack somewhere across town, OK?

interacting with police

A major issue with most police officers is that of basic respect. Respecting their authority and treating them decently will get you out of a lot of jams. I have watched a long, slow deterioration of the relationship between the ICPD and Iowa City residents, and I find this disturbing. The police are not being treated well, and this in turn affects how they treat the people they encounter. A person who interacts with an officer in a calm, respectful, coherent, honest way will often so surprise the cop that he hardly knows how to deal with it. Police deserve this kind of respect; they have a tough job, and enduring the insults of ignorant, insolent drunks makes it more difficult. In a former life as a bar band musician I had many encounters with police, and I was always let go, sometimes when the officer had grounds for an arrest. Most of them don't want to arrest a courteous person who isn't really causing any problems. So don't cause problems.

There are a few officers who seem to have developed a bad attitude about people in general; these types are harder to deal with. It's vital to remember that you must be courteous even to an abusive cop; remain calm. This may require some self-control. If it's not in your nature to be calm and courteous in the face of threats and abuse, take some acting classes.

Cops can smell fear. If you're nervous, they're going to wonder why, and investigate accordingly. The best way to avoid nervousness around cops is to avoid doing anything illegal. If you are doing something illegal, then you're going to have to resort to some kind of zenesque death of self in the face of what is, in order to remain calm. At least, that always worked for me. Fear in most circumstances is not only futile, but destructive. Give it up. Whatever happens will happen. The cop is not a monster, he's another person, right there with you in the world. This isn't some kind of mystic crap, it's just a better way of dealing with things. Accept the possibility of arrest, and the fact that if it happens, there's nothing you can do about it. You have no power over the police whatsoever. In such a circumstance, surrendering to the fact that you don't have the power to determine the ultimate outcome will actually enhance your ability to affect it. It changes everything, because acceptance is calm, and only calm is able to respond in the best possible manner.

what to do if you are stopped while driving

First, don't move very much, or very fast. Everyone in the vehicle must keep their heads and shoulders largely immobile, to avoid suspicion. DON'T GET OUT OF THE CAR!!! The driver should immediately try to remember where ze registration und insurance papers are, but don't look for them until the cop comes up to the vehicle. If anyone in the vehicle was dumb enough to be smoking pot or drinking alcohol, be sure to hide all evidence of this (without moving your heads and shoulders). When the cop approaches the vehicle, nobody moves; it's the driver's job to keep tabs on what the cop is doing, through the rear view mirrors, again, without moving much at all, and to discreetly inform the passengers; bear in mind that the microphone on the copcar is aimed at you. Now this is very important: when the cop approaches the vehicle, EVERYONE needs to have both hands visible to the cop, and immobile. The driver should have both hands on his wallet in front of him, pulling out his driver's license VERY SLOWLY, and should have his window rolled down by the time the cop gets there. Remember, don't freak the cop out with sudden moves, or any other irrational behavior! He may well already have his holster unbuttoned. Let the cop control everything. Don't hand him your license until he asks you for it (though this is the first thing he will do, WAIT FOR THE ORDER). Do whatever he tells you to, with a totally passive, nonthreatening demeanor. Bear in mind that every movement of your body is under intense scrutiny by the cop, and he will be quick to interpret any nuance as a potentially threatening move. Your hands must not move unless complying with an order from the cop, and they must not move quickly; at the same time, they must look like you're not messed up. When he asks you for your registration and insurance papers, make sure his flashlight is playing on the hand you use to retrieve them, and that that hand is not moving too quickly or in a manner that might be interpreted by the cop as threatening--i.e., moving too rapidly toward an object that is out of his view. These same principles apply to being stopped by a cop under any other circumstances.

things to cross off your "to do" list

fightin' ---You're wilding about town with the gang; well, don't start playfully shoving each other around unless you have at least 2 lookouts checking for cops. This sort of playful activity might be interpreted by the cops as fightin', and could result in an arrest. Real fightin' is stupid. What do you hope to achieve by hurting someone? This accomplishes nothing. If your brain is so ####ed up that it seriously considers violent, futile impulses like this to be some sort of affirmation of your manhood, or an improvement in the cultural landscape, you should seriously consider yanking yourself out of the world for awhile and getting some help. Go sit under a tree for a couple of months.

yellin' ---There's no better way to inspire a working mother to lobby the City Council to have you executed. Wake up the grade school kids next door at 3:00 AM, and you've just signed your own death warrant, insofar as your real-world neighbors are concerned.

breakin' stuff ---Don't trash other people's stuff. Why is this so difficult for some people to understand?

stealin' ---Didn't you learn about this in kindergarten? Don't steal. Nuf sed.

peein' ---This time-honored tradition is now against the law. Yes, I realize that breaking this law is inevitable at some point in a person's life; but be smart about where you choose to do it. People arrested for public urination tend to fall into at least three of the following four categories: a) male; b) young; c) stupid; d) drunk.

pukin' ---The moment that prominent businessman sinks his Guccis into the steaming pile of barf you left on the sidewalk the night before is the moment he forms his first and only impression of you and everyone who ever goes downtown. He has no need of further information, or closer contact. We must all be mercilessly crushed like bugs, that's all there is to it as far as he's concerned.

rapin' ---Don't go there. "No" means "no," and "unconscious" means "no" too.

concluding thoughts

I have to agree with those I've been dissing in one respect, namely that loud, drunken, out-of-control people aren't endearing themselves to the rest of us. I, along with many, many others, disagree with many of the idiotic "solutions" proffered by the Important People. However, since they don't give a rat's ass what we think, those "solutions" aren't going to go away, so adjustments to one's approach to life must be made in order to avoid unpleasant consequences. I've tried to show why it's easy to get in trouble here, and how to stay out of it. The methodology of staying out of trouble might also have the unintended effect of making things more pleasant for all of us. The biggest problems are caused by a minority, who have now brought the dawn of a get-tough nanny state upon us all; and the nanny is on steroids. I realize that it's unlikely that these people will be affected by one little web page. It's time for their peers to realize the damage they do to everyone, and take them to task for it. Lin Larson, an Iowa City resident, had a great idea for an alternative to the punitive Prohibitionist mentality of Stepping Up and the like, called the "Don't be a Jackass" campaign. Drink, have fun, but DON'T BE A FRIGGIN' JACKASS!!! Granted, if you look a donkey in the face and tell him that, he just kind of stares at you. But I'd like to think that human jackasses might be a bit more vulnerable to change if confronted by their peers on a large scale. How 'bout it?